God Works the Night Shift

Here are my notes from the session titled above:

GOD WORKS THE NIGHT SHIFT

Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.

Why do we have to go through dark times in our lives?

1) So God can FORM us:

Galatians 4:19 My little children, of whom I travail in birth again until Christ be formed in you,

travail: transition period form: change, metamorphosis (Let God do an "Extreme Makeover" on you!) Every event in your life PUT TOGETHER means something, even though it may not make sense individually
until: a long time, a slow process
We are in transition periods (travail) as God changes (forms) us into the image of Christ, which is a long, slow process!

2) Because of the FELLOWSHIP He enjoys with us (I didn't get the Bible verse here)
God wants to spend time with us, and it is only in the dark times of life that we tend to seek that fellowship like He wants with us

3) He reveals His secrets and hidden treasures in the darkness
He puts us in darkness so that He can develop His image in us... just like photo film in a dark room

What do we do when we are in darkness?

1) Look to the Lord for forgiveness

2) Look to the Lord for guidance
3) Look to the Lord -> Look BACK on His faithfulness
4) Look to the Lord in prayer

When we depend on education, we get what education can do.
When we depend on others, we get what others can do.
When we depend on prayer, we get what GOD can do!

5) Look to the Lord and be glad!
6) Look to the Lord for His return... He's coming VERY SOON!

Hope this encourages you if you are going through a dark time... it sure did encourage my heart!

I'm going to try to share some of the other notes from sessions that encouraged/convicted my heart. I hope they'll be a blessing to you!

So overwhelmed...

I'm so overwhelmed by what I'm going to tell you, I get tears in my eyes almost every time I share the story or think about it! I was going to post this story earlier, but I typed it once and lost it, and didn't feel like typing it all over again that day. Then Danielle posted about her little prayer warrior, and I wanted to share my story, too.

This all started on Marcy 5th, the Wednesday after we found out that our last IVF pregnancy test was negative. During the greeting time just before the offertory, I was standing talking to two of my friends, as another friend's 5 year old daughter, Abby, was walking by. She caught my eye because as she was walking, she kept looking at me like she wanted to say something, but didn't want to interrupt. As she walked past my one friend, I caught her eye and smiled at her. I guess that was her cue, because she leaned in between my two friends and softly said, "We're praying for you." Of course, I had to hold back the tears, but my heart was touched to the core. Over the course of this IVF, we have had MANY, MANY people praying for us (and we are SO thankful!) But there was just something about the sincerity in her beautiful eyes as she looked at me... to think that this little girl was praying for ME! After the service, Chris and I caught up with Abby's mom and dad. I shared the story with them, and Abby's mom, Lisa, told me, "Oh, yes, she's our little prayer warrior. She will pray for something FOREVER, sometimes even AFTER the request has been answered (surgery past, seizures controlled, etc.) Sometimes I get so frustrated with all of her prayer requests that I have to limit her to TWO at bedtime!"

Wow - to me that was overwhelming, amazing... and CONVICTING! To have the effectual, FERVENT prayer... of a 5 year old... poured out at the foot of the throne of grace... FOR ME! How often do I pray with that kind of abandon?!?!?

The story doesn't stop there, though! That following weekend, we had a big snowstorm here. Abby's dad is the pastor of our chapel in Scottsburg, IN, which only meets on Sunday mornings. They had Sunday school all together that morning (her dad told me this Sunday night), and Abby asked prayer for me (that I would have a baby) in their combined SS. Every time I talk to Abby's parents, they remind me that she is praying for me. Lisa told me that one time Abby's older sister, Sarah, told Abby, "Abby, you don't have to pray for Mrs. Heather EVERY time!" To which Abby replied, "Yes, I DO! That's how God hears me!" Oh to have that kind of child-like faith!

Then, Easter night after the evening service, we went out to Steak-N-Shake with Abby's family and another family. The kids (6 of them) were all at one table and the adults at the other. We prayed separately from the kids, but after the kids table had prayed, Abby continued to sit with her head bowed and her hands folded. Gina asked Lisa about it, and Lisa said that Andrew didn't do a good enough job praying for what Abby wanted, so she continues to pray until she asks God for all of her requests. When Abby finished, Lisa asked her, "Abby, what were you praying for?" Abby sweetly replied, "Mrs. Heather to have a baby." Again - overwhelming!

Then, yesterday, my friend, Angie, sent me a message, and told me that her girls pray for us every night, that we will have a baby. As I hear these things, I can just imagine God up in heaven, listening to the sweet prayers of this little girls on my behalf. I can feel Him wanting so much to give them their requests, but instead, having to whisper back, "Keep praying, girls, keep praying. I hear you, but it's not time yet. Soon... soon... but it's not time YET!" Can you guess whose little girls will be among the first to know when God does bless us with the answer to their prayers (and those of MANY others)?

Thank God for the parents who have taught their children to pray like that! And Lord willing, when God blesses us with a child, I will be able to teach them that very same thing! And if your child prays like that, PLEASE don't discourage them! Satan will do that soon enough!

THANKFUL THINGS....

Instead of my regular devotions today, I decided to look up and meditate on some verses that have been my favorites over the years, as well as some that others have shared with me during this time. What a refreshing comfort it is to know the personal God who loves and cares for me!

1 Peter 5:7 Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you.

Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.

Romans 8:28 And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose. 29 For whom he did foreknow, he also did predestinate to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brethren.

Isaiah 55:8 For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the LORD. 9 For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.

Psalm 139:17 How precious also are thy thoughts unto me, O God! how great is the sum of them! 18 If I should count them, they are more in number than the sand: when I awake, I am still with thee.

Psalm 68:19 Blessed be the Lord, who daily loadeth us with benefits, even the God of our salvation. Selah.

Psalm 34:18 The LORD is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart...

Psalm 40:5 Many, O LORD my God, are thy wonderful works which thou hast done, and thy thoughts which are to us-ward: they cannot be reckoned up in order unto thee: if I would declare and speak of them, they are more than can be numbered.

2 Corinthians 1:3 Blessed be God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, and the God of all comfort; 4 Who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God.

2 Corinthians 4:8 We are troubled on every side, yet not distressed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; 9 Persecuted, but not forsaken; cast down, but not destroyed;

2 Corinthians 4:17 For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory; 18 While we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen: for the things which are seen are temporal; but the things which are not seen are eternal.

Philippians 4:7 And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

1 Corinthians 2:9 But as it is written, Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love him.

Psalm 119:50 This is my comfort in my affliction: for thy word hath quickened me.

Psalm 119:76 Let, I pray thee, thy merciful kindness be for my comfort, according to thy word unto thy servant.

Psalm 103:2 Bless the LORD, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits:

Psalm 116:12 What shall I render unto the LORD for all his benefits toward me?

Jeremiah 33:3 Call unto me, and I will answer thee, and shew thee great and mighty things, which thou knowest not.

Psalm 62:5 My soul, wait thou only upon God; for my expectation is from him.

Psalm 113:9 He maketh the barren woman to keep house, and to be a joyful mother of children. Praise ye the LORD.

2 Samuel 22:31 As for God, his way is perfect; the word of the LORD is tried: he is a buckler to all them that trust in him.

Psalm 18:30 As for God, his way is perfect: the word of the LORD is tried: he is a buckler to all those that trust in him.

Results of the Pregnancy Test

A dear friend sent me a CD with the following song on it soon after we had found out that we miscarried our babies in December. This song has become very dear to me, and again fits the situation that we find ourselves in at this time:

For My Good and For His Glory

words by Rebecca J. Peck

I must admit that I don't understand

why God would let me face this painful circumstance

All I have to cling to is His word and His name

But that's enough, so I will trust

It's for my good and for His glory,

This trial's not the end of the story

There's a bigger picture God alone can see

Faith will take me through this sorrow,

For I know He holds tomorrow,

And He assures me

It's for my good, and for His glory.

Because I love the Lord He's promised me

To work all things for good, through tears I still believe

That His ways are higher than any of my own -

Though my heart aches, He makes no mistakes.

It's for my good and for His glory,

This trial's not the end of the story

There's a bigger picture God alone can see

Faith will take me through this sorrow,

For I know He holds tomorrow,

And He assures me

It's for my good, and for His glory.

Again, I am sorry to send a mass, impersonal e-mail (or blog post!) like this, but it would take me forever to type e-mails to each one of you that have prayed for us through this in vitro fertilization cycle. We are SO disappointed to have to tell you that our pregnancy test and bloodwork both came back today - NEGATIVE. For whatever reason, God has chosen NOT to give us a baby to hold through this process. As the lyrics of the song indicate, this is very painful for us, and our hearts ache... but we also know that God can see the bigger picture and has a REASON that He has chosen not to give us the desire of our hearts at this time. We are thankful, though, that we now have 9 babies up in Heaven waiting to meet us when we get there. Though we would LOVE to have them HERE, they are so blessed to not have had to live through the trials of this life, but to go directly to an eternity in the presence of the Lord Jesus Christ.

I'm sure many of you will wonder what we do from here... and we have no answer for that at this time. We believe that had God wanted to give us a baby through the IVF process, He would have done it in these 3 tries. So, unless the Lord gives us a HUGE sign that He wants us to go through that again, we do not plan on that. (Not to mention, it is expensive and emotionally draining!) At least we can now look back and not have regrets at not having tried that option when it was available to us. A couple of people, even today, have asked us about adoption. At this point, we do not have any peace about pursuing adoption. Of course, God may just choose to give us a baby on His own... I mean, if He can make a virgin conceive, NOTHING is IMPOSSIBLE with Him, right?!?!? :-) (I don't mean to be sacriligous, just finding a little humor there!)

So - all that to say, I guess we would just ask you all to please continue to keep us in your prayers. Pray for wisdom for both of us as we seek God's will concerning our family. Although we know that God's grace is sufficient, please pray for God's hand of grace and comfort to rest on us. Pray that we are able to truly trust God for His will in our lives. It is far too easy to do "lip-service" and pretend that we are OK, but the words not getting through to our hearts. Also, please pray that we will continue to grow closer to God and each other.

Again, we cannot thank you all enough for all of your prayers on our behalf. They mean so much to us, and we often are overwelmed at the love, care, and support you have shown to us through this difficult time. We pray that someday we may be able to share with you that our family has grown... though how that will happen we are just waiting on the Lord to show us!

We appreciate you all so much. Thank you for your prayers.

Serving Christ,
Chris & Heather Beth
Ps. 91:1, Lam. 3:22-23

For all the thorns in our life...

I received this story via an e-mail from my sis-in-law yesterday, and wanted to share it. I know that it's impossible to know who in your life, out of all the people that you know, is going through a difficult time at that very moment. So - for those of you, like me, who are going through tough times... this is a reminder... Oh - and you might want to grab a Kleenex or two before you start reading!!

For all the thorns in our life

Sandra felt as low as the heels of her shoes when she pulled open the florist shop door, against a November gust of wind. Her life had been as sweet as a spring breeze and then, in the fourth month of her second pregnancy, a "minor" automobile accident stole her joy. This was Thanksgiving week and the time she should have delivered their infant son. She grieved over their loss.

Troubles had multiplied. Her husband's company "threatened" to transfer his job to a new location. Her sister had called to say that she could not come for her long awaited holiday visit. What's worse, Sandra's friend suggested that Sandra's grief was a God-given path to maturity that would allow her to empathize with others who suffer.

"She has no idea what I'm feeling," thought Sandra with a shudder. "Thanksgiving? Thankful for what?" she wondered. "For a careless driver whose truck was hardly scratched when he rear-ended me? For an airbag that saved my life, but took my child's?"

"Good afternoon, can I help you?"

Sandra was startled by the approach of the shop clerk. "I ... I need an arrangement," stammered Sandra.

"For Thanksgiving? I'm convinced that flowers tell stories," she continued. "Are you looking for something that conveys 'gratitude' this Thanksgiving?"

"Not exactly!" Sandra blurted out. "In the last five months, everything that could go wrong has gone wrong." Sandra regretted her outburst, and was surprised when the clerk said, "I have the perfect arrangement for you."

Then the bell on the door rang, and the clerk greeted the newcustomer, "Hi, Barbara, let me get your order." She excused herself and walked back to a small workroom, then quickly reappeared, carrying an arrangement of greenery, bows, and what appeared to be long-stemmed thorny roses. Except the ends of the rose stems were neatly snipped: there were no flowers.

"Do you want these in a box?" asked the clerk.

Sandra watched - was this a joke? Who would want rose stems with no flowers? She waited for laughter, but neither woman laughed.

"Yes, please," Barbara replied with an appreciative smile. "You'd think after three years of getting the special, I wouldn't be so moved by its significance, but I can feel it right here, all over again," she said, as she gently tapped her chest.

Sandra stammered, "Ah, that lady just left with . . . uh . . she left with no flowers!"

"That's right," said the clerk. "I cut off the flowers. That's the 'Special'. I call it the Thanksgiving Thorns Bouquet. Barbara came into the shop three years ago, feeling much as you do today," explained the clerk. "She thought she had very little to be thankful for. She had just lost her father to cancer; the family business was failing; her son had gotten into drugs; and she was facing major surgery. That same year I had lost my husband," continued the clerk. "For the first time in my life, I had to spend the holidays alone. I had no children, no husband, no family nearby, and too much debt to allow any travel."

"So what did you do?" asked Sandra.

"I learned to be thankful for thorns," answered the clerk quietly. "I've always thanked God for the good things in my life and I never questioned Him why those good things happened to me, but when the bad stuff hit, I cried out, 'Why? Why me?!' It took time for me to learn that the dark times are important to our faith! I have always enjoyed the 'flowers' of my life, but it took the thorns to show me the beauty of God's comfort! You know, the Bible says that God comforts us when we're afflicted, and from His consolation we learn to comfort others."

Sandra sucked in her breath, as she thought about what her friend had tried to tell her. "I guess the truth is I don't want comfort. I've lost a baby and I'm angry with God."

Just then someone else walked in the shop.

"Hey, Phil!" the clerk greeted the balding, rotund man.

"My wife sent me in to get our usual Thanksgiving arrangement...twelve thorny, long-stemmed stems!" laughed Phil as the clerk handed him a tissue wrapped arrangement from the refrigerator.

"Those are for your wife?" asked Sandra incredulously. "Do you mind telling me why she wants a bouquet that looks like that?"

"Four years ago, my wife and I nearly divorced," Phil replied. "After forty years, we were in a real mess, but with the Lord's grace and guidance, we trudged through problem after problem, the Lord rescued our marriage. Jenny here (the clerk) told me she kept a vase of rose stems to remind her of what she had learned from "thorny" times. That was good enough for me. I took home some of those stems. My wife and I decided to label each one for a specific "problem" and give thanks for what that problem taught us."

As Phil paid the clerk, he said to Sandra, "I highly recommend the Special!"

"I don't know if I can be thankful for the thorns in my life" Sandra said to the clerk. "It's all too . . . fresh."

"Well," the clerk replied carefully, "my experience has shown me that the thorns make the roses more precious. We treasure God's providential care more during trouble than at any other time. Remember that it was a crown of thorns that Jesus wore so we might know His love. Don't resent the thorns."

Tears rolled down Sandra's cheeks. For the first time since the accident, she loosened her grip on her resentment.

"I'll take those twelve long-stemmed thorns, please," she managed to choke out.

"I hoped you would," said the clerk gently. "I'll have them ready in a minute."

"Thank you. What do I owe you?"

"Nothing. Nothing but a promise to allow God to heal your heart. The first year's arrangement is always on me."

The clerk smiled and handed a card to Sandra. "I'll attach this card to your arrangement, but maybe you would like to read it first."

It read:

"My God, I have never thanked You for my thorns. I have thanked You a thousand times for my roses, but never once for my thorns. Teach me the glory of the cross I bear; teach me the value of my thorns. Show me that I have climbed closer to You along the path of pain. Show me that, through my tears, the colors of Your rainbow look much more brilliant."

Praise Him for the roses; thank Him for the thorns.

II Corinthians 1:3-4 "Blessed be God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, and the God of all comfort; Who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God."

He's Been Faithful To Me

The other night in church, the special music was a man singing the song, "He's Been Faithful To Me." We had this song sung at our wedding, which brought back many memories... but it also made me think back over the years since then, and remember the many, many times that God has shown Himself faithful... over and over and over again. I love the verses in Lamentations 3:22-23 (and I'm going to add in 21 and 24... they're just so good!) "This I recall to my mind, therefore have I hope. It is of the LORD'S mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not. They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness. The LORD is my portion, saith my soul; therefore will I hope in him."

In case you are not familiar with the song (I think I have heard it maybe 3 other places before and since my wedding) here are the words:

He's Been Faithful To Me

(words and music by Carol Cymbala)

In my moments of fear,

Through every pain, every tear,

There's a God who's been faithful to me.
When my strength was all gone,

When my heart had no song,

Still in love He's proved faithful to me.

Every word He's promised is true;

What I thought was impossible I see my God do.

He's been faithful, faithful to me,

Looking back His love and mercy I see.
Though in my heart I have questioned,

Even failed to believe

Yet, He's been faithful, faithful to me.

When my heart looked away,

The many times I could not pray,

Still my God, He was faithful to me.

The days I spent so selfishly,

Reaching out for what pleased me;

Even then God was faithful to me.

Every time I come back to Him,
He is waiting with open arms

And I see once again.

He's been faithful, faithful to me,
Looking back His love and mercy I see.

Though in my heart I have questioned,
Even failed to believe
Yet, He's been faithful, faithful to me.

This song has such great meaning and significance in my life... I hope it has been a blessing to you as well!

God Answers Prayer

I'm not able to share details with you all, but I just wanted to say I'm so thankful that God answers prayer! My father-in-law called Chris tonight to share with him this wonderful news: One of my FIL's employees got saved yesterday! He came to a special church BBQ (or something to that effect) at their church yesterday and accepted Jesus Christ as his personal Savior! Needless to say, my FIL was SO EXCITED!
We also found out today that there has been some changes taking place in a situation that we have been praying about for years now. I'm so glad that God doesn't give up on us! What a huge blessing to know that He cares, and that just because we don't see answers right away doesn't mean He's not at work. He just chooses not to force things, but works in HIS timing! Can't wait to see what's next!

2 things from our SS class last week

The first thing was a challenge to me, but I believe that it is SO true:

When you pray and ask God for a specific request...

• and the thing is not right, God says "NO!"
• and YOU are not right, God says "GROW!"
• and the timing is not right, God says "SLOW!"
• and the thing, you and the timing are all right, God says "GO!"

It's amazing to me how true that has been in my life!

Here is the other thing... some funnies for you:

YOU KNOW YOU ARE HAVING A BAD DAY WHEN:

1. Your horn sticks on the highway when you are following 32 Hell's Angels.
2. Your twin sister forgets your birthday.
3. It costs more to fill you car with gas than it did to buy it.
4. You have to sit down to brush your teeth in the morning.
5. You put both contacts in the same eye.
6. Your income tax refund check bounces.
7. Someone says you look good for 40, and you're 25!
8. You call your answering service and they say it's none of your business.
9. Your 4-yr.-old tells you it's impossible to flush a grapefruit down the toilet.
10. You compliment the boss' wife for her unusual perfume... and she isn't wearing any.

It's a good day when I... sense God's eyes watching me (II Chron. 16:9), speak in a way that pleases God's ears ( Psalm 141:3, Jer. 33:3), and seek God's face for my decisions (Is. 59:2, 11 Cor. 4:6).

HAVE A GOOD DAY!

Quick Note

We just got back from a weekend trip to Boston... VERY fun, but I am VERY tired! I'll post more about our little jaunt later, but wanted to say hello!
And to share... Chris had the awesome opportunity to share his beliefs with his manager over lunch the other day. They got on the subject of "religion" because Chris (the manager) asked Chris (my hubby) about drinking since we were going to a baseball game this weekend. My hubby was able to tell him WHY we don't drink, then the conversation moved on to creation vs. evolution, etc.... and then they were interrupted. I'm always excited when God opens doors to witness to people because we have been faithful to allow the light of the GLORIOUS gospel of truth to shine unto all men THROUGH Christ working IN US! More about the weekend, tomorrow, hopefully! I took lots of pictures! :-) (surprise, surprise!)

Ladies' Retreat "IN GOD WE TRUST"

This past weekend, I attended the Ladies' Retreat that our church hosts every year at our camp, Indian Creek Baptist Camp. Though I didn't FEEL like going when it came right down to it, I was so GLAD that I did! It was such a blessing, and I thoroughly enjoyed the fellowship. Mrs. Cindy (Hiles) Schaap, the pastor's wife of First Baptist Church in Hammond, IN, was the special speaker. The other sessions were taught by ladies from our church. Here are some pictures from the retreat.

Mrs. Cindy Schaap, special speaker
Bean bag toss game
I don't know what this game is called, but it looked hilarious! There is an egg in the bag taped to the lady's hip, and each person is given a long cardboard roll (these were from wrapping paper or something). The object of the game is to break everyone else's egg without getting yours broken! It was hilarious to watch!
This is Kay and Katie... Kay is a ventriloquist, and she was VERY funny!
I don't know this lady, but she did a skit promoting a NEW, IMPROVED energy drink called "Red Hot Mama Booster!" It was hilarious!

Mrs. Nancy Mattingly (our pastor's wife) and Mrs. Sheila Sneider (assistant pastor's wife, retreat director, and my SS teacher - she actually helps her husband with our class)

My dear friend, Beth, and me

The theme was "In God We Trust," and the theme verse was Psalm 71:1 "In thee, O LORD, do I put my trust: let me never be put to confusion."

Our pastor's wife, Mrs. Nancy, spoke during the first session. Here is a brief outline, and I apologize if the verses aren't right... I'm not very good at taking notes and getting all the verse references down at the same time.

The Benefits of Trusting God (not all-inclusive!)

1. I'm a RECIPIENT of GOD'S GRACE Eph. 2:8-9
2. I'm an HEIR of ETERNAL LIFE John 5:10-12
3. I am FORGIVEN, now and forever Eph. 5:1
4. I am a NEW CREATURE II Cor. 5:17
5. I am REDEEMED by the BLOOD OF JESUS CHRIST Gal 3:13
6. I am at PEACE Phil 4:6-7
7. I'm JUSTIFIED Rom 5:1
8. I'm led by the SPIRIT OF GOD Rom 8:14
9. I am ABLE to do ALL things through CHRIST who gives me STRENGTH Phil 4:13
10. I am MORE than a CONQUEROR Rom 8:35-39

Well, I'll have to post more on the other sessions another time, but I hope this little bit was an encouragement to you like it was to me!

I am so blessed!

One of the verses I read in my devotions this morning really jumped out at me again: Psalm 68:19 "Blessed be the Lord, who daily loadeth us with benefits, even the God of our salvation. Selah."

I am so blessed! First of all, I have accepted God's gift of salvation which protects me from an eternity spent in Hell, and above that, gives me the certainty of an eternal home in Heaven. But not only did God do THAT for me, He also DAILY LOADS me with BENEFITS! Everything else good that happens to me on a daily basis is just another benefit from God that He desires to give to me ABOVE and BEYOND all that He has already given, and exceedingly abundantly above what I deserve. Thank you, Lord, for the many benefits that you have given me!

Memorial Day - part 2

Every week in our church bulletin, there is a letter from our pastor. I love the letter he wrote about Memorial Day. It completely captured my thoughts, and rather than reiterate it to you in my words, I'm going to copy it. Here's the letter from Pastor Lonnie Mattingly:

A DAY TO REMEMBER

Memorial Day is a United States Federal Holiday that is observed on the final Monday of May. It was formerly known as Decoration Day. This holiday commemorates U.S. men and women who have died in military service to their country. It began first to honor Union soldiers who died during the American Civil War. After World War I, it expanded to include those who died in any war or military action. Following the end of the Civil War, many communities set aside a day to mark the end of the war or as a memorial to those who had died.

WE SHOULD NEVER FORGET

The military men and women who gave their lives that we might have life. Last Sunday evening I asked this question - "If those who died for the freedom you are now enjoying could see your lifestyle and commitment to freedom, would they say it was worth giving their life for?"

We should also never forget the Christians who have been and are being martyred for their faith in Christ. I thank the Lord that salvation has come to our generation. The cost for many was death at the hands of the enemies of the cross. Let's stand up for Jesus regardless of the cost.

We should never forget our Saviour and the ultimate price He paid for our sins. Let's honor Him every day until He returns to receive us to Himself. If you have never trusted His saving grace, do so today. Don't let His death for you be in vain. ~Bro. Lonnie

Follow-up

Have you ever wondered why you fear something so much, then when it happens, everything goes better than you expected, and you feel absolutely STUPID for the crazy fear that you had in the first place? (I know, that was a REALLY long sentence!)

Well, I am happy to report to you all that I finally faced my fear and had a good conversation with my hubby last night about my struggles. As always, he was very understanding and encouraging (why was I scared, again?), and we have made some decisions on the direction we are going to take in this matter.

Please continue to pray for us as we seek God's wisdom for our family, and as we claim God's promises as He wrote them in His love letter to us. We know that He has the BEST plan for us, and that it will be revealed in HIS time. So, we do what we can, and we wait to see what God has for us. I am excited to be able to look back someday and see what God has done... whether or not we ever have children.

If God never gives us children, I will still love and serve Him.

Struggles

Ok - I'm going out on a limb here and going a little deeper into my soul and revealing some of it to you. This is the abbreviated version (and if you know me, that's very hard to do!)

Chris and I will be married for 7 years in July. We don't have children yet, and don't know if we ever will. I have been off birth control for almost 4 years now. We have not yet been tested to see exactly what the problem is, mainly because we have never both been at the same place with that at the same time, which is my indication that God just didn't want us to do that at that time.

Since Christmas time, when Chris flat out told me that he didn't think that we would ever have children and that he was content with that, I finally got to the point that I can honestly say that I am content either way. We would love to have children, but if we don't ever have children I am OK with that as well.

Then, this past week, we watched the movie Facing the Giants. It is an EXCELLENT Christian movie. If you haven't seen it, you should watch it. Again it was EXCELLENT! In the movie, the main characters have been trying for 4 years to get pregnant. They both get tested, and find out that the problem is with him, and that it is humanly impossible for them to have children. "But with God, nothing is impossible." The story ends as they have a 2 year old boy, and she is pregnant again.

This opened up the struggle for me again... not so much with wanting a baby vs. not having a baby, but the struggle of whether or not my faith or unbelief is the underlying issue in us not having children. I mean, there are many stories in the Bible of women who were barren, and how they dealt with their struggle:
1) Hannah - prayed so fervently that the priest thought she was drunk
2) Sarah - gave Hagar to Abraham because she tried to do things her way instead of God's
3) Rachel - begged Leah for her mandrakes to help her conceive
...the list goes on and on.

So, my struggle is this... where do I draw the line between manipulation and faith? Where is the line between trust and unbelief? There is the little cliche, "God helps them who help themselves." Does that apply in this arena? How do all of these things balance to help me make the wise and right decisions in my own life? Now, I realize that in all reality, no one can give me the right answers for my life except God. But right now, I just don't know what those answers are.

Here is my dilemma... do I pray and beg God for a child like Hannah did? But on the other hand, I don't want to be like the Israelites who begged God and "he gave them their request; but sent leanness into their soul." (Psalm 106:15) Do I claim the promises of God in Psalm 113:9 "He maketh the barren woman to keep house, and to be a joyful mother of children. Praise ye the LORD." and Psalm 128:3, 6 "Thy wife shall be as a fruitful vine by the sides of thine house: thy children like olive plants round about thy table...Yea, thou shalt see thy children's children..."? But what if that is not the plan that God has for us? What if He wants us to show his glory more by NOT having children? There are many couples that we know, including family members, that have been blessed with children through the awesome provision of God through adoption. We are thrilled with them for God opening this door to them, but for some reason, neither Chris nor I have any peace about that option at all.

How do I know what to do? I am trying to do my best to live a life that is in the center of God's will, and I know that He will give me wisdom in these areas, but the answer has not come yet. I can't tell you how many people have told me to "be patient, don't worry, you'll have kids," etc. I appreciate that encouragement, but at the same time I wonder, "How do they know? Are they just saying that to make me feel better? Or do they truly know somehow what God's plans are for us?"

Thankfully, I have a friend here that just went through all of this a few short years ago. They now have 2 beautiful daughters. She is such a blessing to me, and it was nice to have a friend to listen to my babble, and understand exactly where I am. Not only that, but she is a spiritual encouragement as well.

Well, now you know my struggle, and you can pray for Chris and I as we attempt to figure this all out... or wait it all out. Please pray that the Lord will give me wisdom in how to deal with all of this. Thanks so much for "listening!"

All kinds of random information...

Well, I feel like it has been a while since I really posted. I mean, I know I've posted pictures and explained a little bit, but somehow it just feels like it's been a long time.

The past week or so has been full of ups and downs for me... not so much in my own personal life, but more because of news that I've had from friends. I have been told that one of my dear friends is now a single mom of four children, ages 7 down to 9 weeks, because her husband left. Another couple of friends of mine had complications with their childbirth, and their much wanted baby girl died about 24 hours later... the funeral was last Friday. Mrs. Beth Horn (wife of Dr. Sam Horn formerly from Northland) has been diagnosed with cancer, and it is already metastasizing into her lymph nodes (not a good sign.) Another friend is struggling with the financial state of her family and dealing with 6 kids, 2 of whom have special needs in one way or another. I also just heard that a man that I greatly admired for his strong testimony kind of "went off the deep end" and is involved in a "ministry" that is very far away from the convictions upon which he used to stand. Also, on a totally different note, my new car got "keyed" the other day while I was at work. OK - so that's the BAD news!

The BETTER news is this... most of those that I have mentioned above have been an incredible testimony and challenge to me! I can totally see God working in their lives giving them the "peace of God, which passeth [surpasses] all understanding" (Phil. 4:7) and showing Himself to be the "God of all comfort" (II Cor. 1:3-4). I am thrilled to see the strength and grace that God has given my friends in the midst of their trials.

As for my car... we were concerned that it would cost $1,000 to get the scratch fixed because it extended over 2 panels.

However, I have to give props to Brian who is the Body Shop Manager at Cross Motors... he wet-sanded the scratch, then buffed it, and made it disappear... at the cost of a box of donuts for the shop guys on Monday morning. Praise the Lord for his provision in that area!

Chris made Salesman of the Month again for April by selling 13&1/2 cars. This does not get him the $5,000 bonus, but it does get him some extra bonus money for the units he sold.

We leave on Tuesday for FL for Chris' sister's graduation from college. I'm excited to see family again.

We received my bro, Nathan and Caroline's wedding invitation in the mail yesterday. Again, I am so excited for them. The invitation made my heart hurt a little for them, though, as it still had Caroline's dad's name on them (he passed away about a month and 1/2 ago.)

Well, that's all I can think of right now. Actually, I do have to share a story with you about the FedEx man, but it will have to wait for another time. Have a great weekend!

What Kind of Marriage Do You Have?

Check out Stacy's post on Marriage... it was very challenging.

Random Thoughts...

I've been thinking about a bunch of things lately, and rather than posting several different times, I'm going to address all of my random thoughts in one post. Be prepared to read a while! :-P

Super Bowl XLI

(If you don't follow football, you can just ignore this whole section!) Living in Indiana, we are forced to watch the Colts play almost every Sunday. With my husband being from Boston/New Hampshire, he is a die-hard Patriots fan. (I have now become a Patriots fan by osmosis, but I still love my Minnesota Vikings...even if they STINK!) Of course, if you follow football, you will know that there is a huge rivalry between the Colts & Pats d/t Peyton Manning losing all of his playoff games to Tom Brady. That is, until this year. Yes, the Colts are a good team, and yes, Peyton Manning is a great quarterback. However, we get really tired of hearing all the accolades of Peyton Manning above all other quarterbacks in the league, especially when he hasn't won the big games up until now. Congratulations to the Colts for FINALLY winning over the Patriots! I'm still hoping the Bears will win the Super Bowl, though, because I hate seeing the Colts win because the referees won't call games fairly for both sides when teams are playing the Colts. I would admire them a lot more if they could win without the help of the referees. OK - that's my soapbox on the Super Bowl teams. By the way, Jennittia, congrats on your BEARS getting to the Super Bowl. Too bad you can't have a "house divided" in rooting for your teams in the Big Game this year! Was Rodney super disappointed? Chris was! One more soapbox here... does anyone else get tired of the emphasis the media puts on the first "African-American" coach to get to the Super Bowl? I think it's great that they have earned the achievement of going to the Super Bowl, but if "minorities" are REALLY striving for EQUALITY, why does the media make such a big deal about it? They don't do that for any other ethnic group. I'm not racist by any stretch, I just get tired of everything turning into racial divisions. If we truly don't see skin color, then why do they make it such a big deal?

TRASH TALKER

I've been reading the book "Reclaiming Surrendered Ground" by Jim Logan. It has been very convicting to me, as well as a huge encouragement to keep fighting against Satan's attacks in my life, and reclaiming the ground that I have surrendered to him by giving in to my temptations. The author reminds us that Christ has already won the victory on the cross, and that Satan is a defeated foe. Satan has NO POWER over a Christian, other than talking. Did you know that Satan is the biggest TRASH TALKER there ever was? Why do we allow Satan to invade our lives? Because we are listening to his TALK... the Father of lies puts thoughts in our heads that tempt us to doubt the goodness of God; to push aside the Bible beliefs that we know to be true. Should it surprise us that the father of lies uses lies to get us to live defeated Christian lives? It reminds me of the passage in Galatians 5:13-26 that we studied in P.O.W.E.R. groups at Northland Camp the summer of 2004. Galatians 5:24-25 states, "And they that are Christ's have crucified the flesh with the affections and lusts. If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit." In verse 24, the verb is in the past tense..."HAVE CRUCIFIED." As Christians, our flesh has been doomed to death. However, it is not dead yet. The picture is of the flesh hanging on the cross, writhing in agony and defeat, using every painful breath to TRASH TALK! THE ONLY POWER OUR FLESH OR SATAN HAS OVER US IS THE POWER WE GIVE IT BY LISTENING TO THE TRASH THAT IS SPEWING OUT OF THEIR MOUTHS!

We CAN live victorious Christian lives through the VICTORY that Christ has already won! I don't know about you, but that was a huge encouragement to me! It was also a huge conviction, as I often find myself listening to Satan's lies.

Bull's Eye Christianity

Dr. Tom Wallace preached at our church on Sunday. His message Sunday night was a huge challenge to me. He started out by giving the illustration of the bull's eye target. His challenge was to move one ring closer to being a "bull's eye Christian."

He started by saying that there is a group on the very outside of the target... those are the "multitudes." (Matthew 9:36) That is the group of people that are lost and on their way to hell. When you accept Jesus Christ as your Savior, you become part of the "multitude." (John 6). That group is then narrowed down to 5,000. (Acts 4:4).

From there, the group is cut to 120 (Acts 1:15), then to 70 (Luke 10:1). Jesus chose 12 disciples (Matthew 10:1-2), but only 3 were in the "inner circle": Peter, James, and John. (Matthew 17:1-2, Mark 14:32-33, Mark 5:21-24, 37). Lastly, out of all of Jesus Christ's followers and disciples, there was only ONE "bull's eye Christian"... the apostle John (John 13:23, 20:2, 21:7,21:20). John is the only disciple/apostle that Jesus SAYS that He LOVED. Did he love the others? Of course, He did! But John was so close, that he was in the middle of the bull's eye.

So the question is asked: Where are you? Are you way out in the multitude? the 120? the 12? the bull's eye? How do you get from being a "multitude" Christian to being a "bull's eye Christian"? It is simple. When you hear a truth from God's Word, accept and apply it to your life. Every time you do that, it draws you closer to the Lord. After continually hearing, accepting, and applying God's truth to your life, you will find yourself taking that next spiritual step, and moving closer one more "circle."

This was a huge conviction in my heart. I'm working toward becoming a "bull's eye Christian."

Bow the Knee

I just wanted to share this with you all... it has truly been an encouragement to me. With the emotional and spiritual struggles I've been having with this move for the past couple months, this song really convicted me about my attitude. Chris and I got Christy Galkin's music CD for Christmas, and this song was on there. I have heard it before, but the Lord really used it to work in my heart. Thanks, Christy, for allowing God to use you to be an encouragement to me and many others.

Bow the Knee

Words & Music: Chris Machen and Mike Harland

There are moments on our journey following the Lord

Where God illumines every step we take.

There are times when circumstances make perfect sense to us,

As we try to understand each move He makes.

When the path grows dim

And our questions have no answers, turn to Him.

Chorus:

Bow the knee; trust the heart of your Father

When the answer goes beyond what you can see.

Bow the knee; lift your eyes toward Heaven

And believe the One who holds eternity.

And when you don't understand the purpose of His plan,

In the presence of the King, bow the knee.

There are days when clouds surround us, and the rain begins to fall,

The cold and lonely winds won't cease to blow.

And there seems to be no reason for the suffering we feel,

We are tempted to believe God does not know.

When the storms arise, don't forget we walk by faith and not by sight.

Chorus:
Bow the knee; trust the heart of your Father
When the answer goes beyond what you can see.
Bow the knee; lift your eyes toward Heaven
And believe the One who holds eternity.
And when you don't understand the purpose of His plan,
In the presence of the King, bow the knee.

Catching Up...

Rather than responding to comments made on my blog, I wanted to post to respond instead. I just have to say... I AM SO EXCITED! Because of my entrance into the blogging world, I have been able to catch up with many people that I have lost track of over the years. Specifically, many of my MBBC acquaintances/friends. I just think that it is so funny how you knew people then, and they were just acquaintances. However, now when you meet up with them years later, it's like you've found a long lost friend!! How ironic it is to me that God has brought 2 of my MBBC acquaintances to live in Louisville, KY, in the past few months. Seeing as I have been struggling with quite a bit of loneliness over the past month or so... God is so good. I am actually meeting with one of them tomorrow for lunch. (Thanks, Gretchen!) I only hope that I can be an encouragement and friend to her as she struggles with settling in (I am very familiar with the moving thing... much to my dismay!) Anyway, I just found a comment on my blog from someone I knew WAY back when (it seems like forever ago!) I think (my memory fails me) they attended our church in Hinckley, MN, for maybe the first 2 years we lived there. That was over 15 years ago!

Another thing I love about blogging is that it allows you to connect with other believers. I know that many of us are not exactly "on the same page" in the way we live out our beliefs. (And please don't think that I'm judging anyone for that!) Yet despite those differences, we are all Christians, and this forms a bond that non-Christians just cannot know. Praise the Lord for using people to encourage us and strengthen us in our own walk with the Lord. I have been pleasantly surprised by the transparency of other's posts, as well as finding that there are many others out there that go through the same struggles that I do. "Nothing new under the sun..." but that God is the I AM - the ALL-SUFFICIENT ONE!

So - thanks y'all, for leaving comments for me and for the encouragement that you have been through sharing your struggles.

With over 50 blogs that I check on an almost daily basis... no wonder I don't get anything done! My husband asks me every day that I have off, "What did you get done today?" I usually answer, "Nothing." However, I spent hours connecting with people that I know through the blogging world! :-) Thanks also to those of you who have put me on your links... it's been fun to see who has checked out my ramblings!

All that said... I need to get something done today, so I better go! :-) Thanks again, everyone, for commenting!

I WILL BLESS THE LORD AT ALL TIMES...

...HIS PRAISE SHALL CONTINUALLY BE IN MY MOUTH." PSALM 34:1

Last night, I couldn't sleep. I was struggling so much with my emotions and stressing over things that are happening in our lives. Chris has been working 6 days a week, and long hours. Over the holidays, I didn't have regularly scheduled work, so I worked all kinds of crazy shifts, including nights, Saturdays, and even a 16&1/2 hour shift. It has been a little hectic, along with the emotional ramifications of not getting to see family for Christmas, etc. Anyway... I was crying and praying to God, and finally I got up. I was reading my Bible and crying. I KNOW (head knowledge) a lot of things about my God, but sometimes I wonder if I even KNOW (intimate heart knowledge) Him at all. I was reading through the Psalms, and in my flesh, wondering why the traits that the Psalmists write about are not true in my life about God. It was then that I realized how much my sin separates between me and my God. It is not that God is not good, or kind, or loving, or merciful, or in control, etc... but that because I am not TRUSTING Him, I am only focused on my circumstances & emotions, thus leading to a huge case of self-pity. It was then that I picked up the book "Reclaiming Surrendered Ground" by Jim Logan. It deals with spiritual warfare, and how to have victory when Satan attacks you and your family. Through God's Word, and through reading this book, I started to realize that my struggles were a result of me listening to Satan's lies about God, and how God works in my life. So - all that to say... here is my thankful list for blessing the Lord at all times:

1) God is in control of my life, even though I don't always understand. I know that He is doing what is BEST for me... to help me to become more Christ-like, and to glorify His name through me.

2) God is good ALL THE TIME!

3) When my circumstances seem overwelming and threaten to crush me, I can run to Jesus Christ, who is my refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble!

4) God hears my prayers and my cries, and keeps my tears in a bottle... I matter to God... HE CARES ABOUT ME!

I could go on and on, but I don't really have the time right now. I am thankful that I am a Christian; that I don't have to rely on my own strength to get through the days. I am thankful for a husband that is willing to work hard and keep long hours to provide for our family, so that I don't have to work so long and so hard. I am thankful that God is blessing Chris' new job situation, and is providing money that we need to pay bills.
I am thankful that God loves me, and that Chris loves me. I can be thankful... I have a family, a home, a car, a job, my health, my church... It could be a lot worse!! :-)

Please bear with me on my ramblings... and if you think about it, please pray for me as I attempt to allow the Lord to work in my life and use my circumstances to draw me to Him.